This may be an unpopular opinion, but hear me out.
There is no such thing as right or wrong. The concept of something being right or wrong is a human concept and isn’t actually a physically real thing. As a race, we have decided what things are right and what things are wrong. Some of which are understandable and this post is not me telling you ‘hey its fine to go and murder your annoying next door neighbour.’ This post is to hopefully help someone stop living their life in fear of living it ‘wrong’.
The concept of right and wrong has been ingrained into our race in all corners of the world. It helps us to live together as a community. But! Over the generations, there have been groups of people who take this concept and use it to control others. Religions give people an ultimatum; these things are good if you do them you will be rewarded. These things are bad if you do them are you will be punished. In fact, way back when, the idea of Hell was created by the church in order to create fear in its followers and keep them on the path they deemed to be ‘right.’ I won’t go too much into this, as I don’t want to get too much into religion but my point is that it was a human being who decided what was wrong and what was right.
Think about it for a second. If right and wrong was a physical concept then it would be globally universal, but the idea of what is right and what is wrong changes dramatically as you make your way around the globe and seems to change over time. For example, in America tipping is a huge deal, Huge! There is an actual set percentage you should give someone. Whereas in the UK, tipping is more of a thank you. The customer decides, depending on how good the service was, how much they want to tip or if they want to tip at all. If they don’t tip, it’s really not a big deal. An American would see a Brit not tip and think ‘That is so wrong.’ A Brit would see an American making a big deal about the tip and think, ‘That is so wrong.’ But there is no such thing!
Now these are quite extreme examples and you might be reading this thinking, ‘But Ay, there are rules that make peoples lives better.’ And for the most part, you would be right. But in recent years, with the birth of social media and Youtube everyone has a lot more access to the ideas of the world. This has greatly conflicted the ideas of what is right and wrong and it’s creating a bit of a mess. For example, a young girl creates a video showing a day in her life. People from all over the world watch this video. The girl has bacon and eggs for breakfast. The internet loses it.
Some people are saying her breakfast looks good, some are saying she shouldn’t eat the fat on the bacon, some are saying the eggs are a good source of protein, some are saying eating bacon is a sin, some are saying its a balanced diet before a busy day, some are saying its animal cruelty.
There are six comments, three are telling her what she is doing is right and three are telling her what she is doing is wrong. So what is she meant to do? This is where my point lies. There is no right and wrong. It is a human concept, it is not consistent and it is not universal. No matter what you do, someone out there is going to think it is wrong.
Everyone likes to think that they are correct. They shove scientific evidence in our faces along with articles and case studies. But the truth is you can probably find all of those things for both sides of the argument.
Here is a more personal example. My sister is five years younger than me, she and her boyfriend have been together for three years and are planning to get their first place together later this year. My sister’s ambition in life is to settle down, have a place of her own and start a family. Everything she does in life is centred around her relationship. I, on the other hand, am single. I have recently moved back home to my parents after living away for three years, to save for a place of my own. I am very career minded. I have multiple projects going on at one time, I have a degree and I am already in a high responsibility job at the age of 24. Everything I do is centred around furthering my career. (It is currently 6:30am on a Saturday and I have been up since 5 so I have time to write #commited).
I look at my sister’s life and wonder how she can base her entire existence on another person. But my sister looks at my life and wonders how I can be alone and why the heck do I work so hard. Thing is, we want different things. For her, a career would get in the way of her relationship. For me, a relationship would get in the way of my career. But neither is wrong. Each has their benefits and each has their downsides. Once you realise that for yourself, you worry less about what others think of your choices. My aunt is very much like my sister, so whenever she sees me she asks if I have a boyfriend but I’m not sure she even knows what I achieved at university. But whenever I see my Grampy he asks how I like my job and how I am getting on and what my next career goal is. (I love my grampy so much, he is the sweetest old man on the planet).
We are all different and we do not all fit into the same box. This concept can be used from big things such as fighting over what religion is correct (guys come on! It 2019!) to your daily habits. I personally am a spiritualist, I feel great when I eat a mostly vegan diet and I don’t drink or take drugs. I like to wake up early in the morning and go to bed early. I want a career and a corgi more than I want kids. These are things that make ME feel good. But they are not the only correct way to live.
So my point is, live life for yourself because at the end of the day, none of us has all the answers but we are the ones who have to live out our time on this earth. Do it for yourself, not for others.