A Promise To Myself

To My Body, Mind and Soul.

I’m sorry. Over the last few years, I have expected so much from you, I have pushed you and drained you and expected you to carry me without giving you much in return.

Body, when my spine was damaged you carried me and held me up as best you could. You tried to warn me something was wrong, you tried to save me from the pain. I’m sorry I didn’t listen.

Mind, you have given me so much. You pushed me through my studies and helped me achieve more than anyone thought possible. Your creativity has brought alive my dream of becoming a writer and has been the backbone to my personality. I’m sorry I took you for granted, ignoring the signs when the anxiety and depression began to surface. I’m sorry, so sorry for putting chemicals in my body that made these things worse; listening to what society told me I should be doing rather than listening to you and what you were trying to tell me you needed.

Soul, you dream so much. You aspire to be so much. When everyone said you would not succeed, you defied them. When the world gave you a reason to hate, you loved. You reached out and tried to see the best in everyone, you fought for justice for people when they could not do it for themselves. I’m sorry I didn’t do the same for you.

I’m sorry I was weak.

Body, I promise to think carefully before I take, eat, drink, but I will not starve you as I have in the past. I will consider how substances will affect you in the long term, not just in the moment. I will remain as natural as possible in this changing world. I will not be pressured to poison you and make you feel sick for the pleasure of a few hours and the amusement of others. I Promise to take more time to care for you, work towards making you stronger so that the effort of carrying my damaged spine and nerves is less of a burden.

Mind, I Promise to listen to you more. Not the fear, sadness or anxiety but what these feelings are actually telling me. I will give you time to slow down, I will take breaks from my busy life and allow you to relax; even if it is for ten minutes a day. But I promise periodically throughout the year I will fully remove myself from my stressful life and allow you proper time to slow down and recover. I will be disciplined in my habits so that you are not overwhelmed and drained.

Soul, I Promise I will allow you to shine. I will make writing a priority because I know that is what makes you truly happy. I will fill my life with people who understand you and will cut away those who try to dim your shine. I will stop caring what other people think of you because they honestly don’t matter. I love you; your ambition and your drive, your kindness and your caring nature. I promise to stay true to you and not try to change what you are to please others.

I make these promises to you three in the hope that you will forgive my neglect and continue to keep me healthy, safe and work together to make me ME!

 

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