Being Bridget

Admit it, you either are, or you know of somebody who is a Bridget. One of those poor souls who seems to try so determinedly to pull their life (namely their love life) together and fails dramatically every time. The type of personal, that despite continuous desperate attempts, isn’t a size 6 gorgeous Victoria Secret model, and boy does she know it.

For my sins, I am a Bridget. Although in more recent weeks I been considering myself more of a Shazza, Bridget’s best friend, due to my ever growing, unladylike habit of placing the F word in every other sentence. But for this post that is besides the point.

I have been a Bridget for as long as I can remember, long hours spent grooming my untameable hair, toning the muffin top belly and thunder thighs, expertly applying that fashionable black line over my eyelids and plucking my eyebrows, only to later fill them in with dark brown ‘browcake’ (which BTW cost me £15.) And then, after all of this, I stand in front of my mirror disappointed; wishing that I was that little bit skinnier, wishing my hair was longer, my nose a little smaller. I’ve been on every crazy diet out there and have invested in some pretty weird exercise fads, including a weighted hula hoops with mind numbingly painful nobs on it and even a mini trampoline that I currently store under my bed; neither of which have made much of a difference.


As for love, well, that is where me and Bridget are like soul twins. My longest relationship was with an army obsessed Geordie, whom I dated on and off for about 4 years. He later went on to quit the army and follow his dream of becoming Gotham’s poision Ivy…he was a nice kid, so I will leave that description there. Besides Ivy, I’ve dated two guys with bi polar disorder, one cheating scoundrel, one BIG mistake and a large number of guys who can only be described as f**kwittage! I am so tired of dealing with the Daniel Cleevers of this world! WHERE IS MY MARK DARCY!?

But that in itself is a problem. Even when I have come across the nice guys, the sweet, good looking Colin Firth replicas, I have pushed them away in fear. And the truth is I am afraid, I’m afraid that I’m not good enough. Why on earth would a lovely, handsome, successful lad want me? But the fact is, how can we trust someone to love us when we don’t even love ourselves.

From a young age we are brainwashed into thinking there is only one form of beauty and we see it advertised everywhere. Even as I sit here writing this, Fifth Harmony is on my TV dancing to their latest song, ‘Work from Home.’ Five very attractive skinny girls, with long beautiful hair and big boobs. And that is what we are taught is beautiful, this is what ‘guys want’, this is sexy, this is perfection. This is also not real. Between the combined effort of these poor girls starving themselves and the works of photoshop, this body is unattainable for we mere mortals doing the 9 till 5.

However, I would like to revert your attention back a few years to a sex icon that, even after an untimely death, is still a huge feature in our lives today. Marilyn Monroe was the sexiest woman alive! And she wasn’t a size 0, you couldn’t see her ribs, she didn’t have a thigh gap, her tummy rolled up when she sat down. She was normal and stunning!

marilyn-monroe-1270659_1280Once again my attention has been brought to the TV (I watch the music channel while I write.) Now it’s Little Mix, and I have great love for this band, especially Jesy. Just like Marilyn she isn’t stick thin; she a beautiful healthy full figure and she proves that that can be sexy and beautiful too.  We need to teach our little girls that they are beautiful, no matter their size. As long as they are healthy and full of life, that should be all the matters.

It has taken me many years to realise this, but there is nothing wrong with being a Bridget. There is nothing wrong with not settling for some douche bag, who wants you for your body, rather than your mind. You don’t have to settle for someone like that, love and respect yourself enough to know what you want and what is right for you. Learn to love yourself for who you are, not criticize yourself for what you are not. Self appreshaition is like a super power, once you have it, great things will happen.

Good luck my fellow Bridget’s. Love life and love yourself.


Ay x


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